A Tribute . . .

. . . in memory of Amber Payne

Amber was my project manager for the publication of my devotional book. All aspects of the publication process flowed through her as she was my point person and also a prayer partner as she wanted to pray for all my needs and shared some of hers with me. 

She was 30 years old when we met ‘online’ for this journey, November, 2015.

At age 19 she was the recipient of a double lung transplant - a need as she was born with cystic fibrosis. 

She and her husband, John have been married 10 (2009) years, desired children, had one miscarriage, opted for adoption, one adoption failed.

In January of 2016, 2 months after we began working (online) together, John and Amber got the child of their dreams , Noah - just days after his birth. She, understandably, took an 8 week maternity leave. I kept working on the project until she returned to our email exchanges.

Amber was my ‘life saver’ more than once as the publishing process bogged down. Finally, all was completed early December 2016. We were both so excited. I am grateful to still have all our email exchanges.

Just as I was moving into my book launch event February, 2017, word came that Amber had been rushed to the hospital and test showed her lungs were in rejection mode. 

One main part of my book launch event was having all present pray for Amber. 

She fought so hard for her husband and son with all the faith and love and support of so many, always honoring Jesus in what was a constant treatment regime. 

Meanwhile, keeping up her home and the growth of one hefty and overactive Noah (so many of her Facebook posts were about she and John’s journey with Noah). She did not neglect the honesty of how each breath was a blessing and she knew she was living on the edge but always so positive. Treatments of many varieties were constant. 

Little Noah began his first day of pre-school, September 4, 2019, Amber could not go with him as she was being rushed to the hospital in dire straits. Among her last postings was thankfulness for the pre-school teachers who emailed her photos of her son in his first days of school.

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A posting on Facebook from her husband, John, September 9, 2019

Amber had a rough day yesterday in ICU with low blood pressure and difficulty breathing due to a bacterial infection in her lungs. Yesterday afternoon she started to improve after about 2pm or so and has been doing better with blood pressure and breathing. Right now she just needs to sleep, which has been mostly absent the past several days with drugs, breathing mask, and all the sights, sounds, and activities in the ICU. Noah is with friends for the next couple days so he can continue preschool. Thank you for all of you who have messaged prayers, support, etc. Please know we appreciate it. It has been difficult to respond to everyone individually so I figured an update post might help.

______________________________

Amber died on September 10, 2019 taking her last labored earthly breath and her first full breath in heaven with the One she served first and foremost. 

We are left to grieve but also maintain gratefulness for the inspiration she was to many in her brief 33 years.

She is deeply embedded in my heart as well as in each page of my devotional book. 

Please keep her husband, John and son, Noah, and extended family and friends in your prayers.

More about Amber - click here to read a lovely obituary

Official Adoption Day

September Musings (excerpt from "Seeking the Light..."

Promises, Promises 

May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant. (Psalm 119:76) 

Each day brings variants to what we may experience. There are times that stun us in what arrives unexpectedly. We cry out for a place to turn for comfort and calm. 

This verse is a plea to access God’s unfailing love, a promised comfort. For some, their challenges create intentional daily pleas. Others will plead as challenges emerge.

Here are a few of God’s promises. 

Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you. 

(Hebrews 13:5b) 

For I know the plans I have for you . . . 

plans to prosper you and not to harm you, 

plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11) 

Nowhere among these and other promises from God’s Word, does it say how He will fulfill them. My life’s road may twist and turn causing me to wonder how He is working. I may not sense his presence or have any sense of hope. 

My body and heart can become weary. 

Yet I know God is love—the greatest of his gifts. I know He is faithful. I need but look back to promises fulfilled from my past pleas. They are recorded in my daily journals and are embedded within my heart. They give cause for praises, thanks, and hope in knowing that I can confidently trust him. 

“In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; 

in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly” (Psalm 5:3).

 I desire to be his devoted follower. Even when I falter, He never does. His love never fails nor do his promises. 

God is honing my unconditional love for him as He fulfills his promises. He’d rather I focus on this than on my feelings or understanding of how He will bring fulfillment. With my trust and faith in him, we share confidently on the road to his revelations. I have made a promise to follow him, no matter the cost. 

Indeed, both of us are promise keepers!

Prayer:

Lord, when I become impatient, help me stop and remember my promises to you. Serving you means trusting you—your love, your timing, and your ways. The reality of your faithfulness will keep me strong. Amen.

Global Women in Leadership

Global Women in Leadership Network

Women Finding Women in Unexpected Places 

for God-Ordained Reasons

Mission

We foster global relationships among women encouraging and equipping them to live out their calling.

Vision

We envision on every continent women leaders encouraging and equipping others to live out their calling.

I am grateful to be part of this team as a “resident advisor’ since 2013 (and informally for some years before that) which has meant  a variety of supportive efforts. 

While some on our team can literally go overseas from the USA and work with women in Third World countries, my call is using social media and my writings to encourage and facilitate groups online for those finding themselves in the ‘unexpected places" of chronic pain/illness/conditions. 

Among these participants are those in other parts of the world from where I live, including many in the United States. 

I have also been able to work on website input, graphic designing of brochures, and participate in the annual board 3 day retreat gatherings where ‘the team’ comes to Seattle so I can easily travel to be with them! 

Take a peek as to what we are all about by clicking on these words! 

Take a peek to ‘my part’ and a current update on my life by clicking on these words. 

Cindy Bohnett, Lynn, and Anastasia Hansel

at a Seattle event 4 years ago! 

(three of our six team members)

Easter Monday, 2019 - Heading Toward Pentecost

 Let All Creation Sing! 

Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. 

Praise the Lord. (Psalm 150:6) 

When God created his works of creation, He declared everything He made as very good (Genesis 1:31). In Psalm 150, every part of God’s creation is exhorted to give him praise. 

God is immutable, incapable of changing (James 1:17; Hebrews 13:8). He looks upon the good in his creation, yet acknowledges the evil that exists from the ways mankind has marred his work. 

In Hannah Hurnard’s book, Hinds’ Feet on High Places, the heroine, Much-Afraid, is on a journey guided by her loving Shepherd. As she travels, God’s creation is prominent in the lessons she learns as she encounters flowers, waterfalls, rainbows, mountains, and deserts. 

My perspective thrives when I read this book. It handed me strengthening lessons before chronic illness became my constant companion. Now, insights go deeper with each reading, encouraging me to stay focused and strong. One lesson connects to Psalm 150. 

Much-Afraid discovers a single small flower in the desert. It is sustained by keeping its face toward the sun and drinking an occasional drip of water coming from a leak in a pipe. The flower’s name is Acceptance-With-Joy . 

Unlike mankind, all other creation dwells contentedly in being. Its existence breathes out its praise. Mankind alone chooses if he will respond. From a worldly perspective, this is often viewed merely through one’s accomplishments. 

God asks that we be content in him. He looks on each heart’s intent. There is a place and a balance for both accomplishments and stillness. 

I am not to shy away from tasks He equips me to perform but they do not identify me. He does. I often need renewal in understanding this as there are limitations to what I can now do. 

I want to accept with joy each season in my life. My Creator asks that I turn my face upward to be nourished by him. Throughout all seasons, one constant remains for me. I am his. 

This is my praise and 

He declared everything He made as very good !

Prayer

Lord, I join in the chorus of your loving creation that praises you with joy! May you delight in the gift of songs that breathe out our thanksgiving. Amen. 

Holy Saturday, 2019 "A Peaceful Heart"

A Peaceful Heart 

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish? (Psalm 22:1) 

We can recognize our feelings mirrored in the Psalms. None of us will ever suffer the torments that Christ suffered on our behalf. However, we will have times of feeling we have been forsaken by him, and by others. Such emotional pain is unbearable.

 In reading this psalm, a memory was triggered within me. I recalled an innocent comment that had stabbed at some deep unmet needs in my soul, mind, and emotions. For days this particular pain would not leave me. It was not so much a feeling that God had forsaken me, rather, I was unable to release the pain. My cries were repetitive and coming from a desolate place. I was so busy calling out to God, that it was not until I stopped to take a breath that He could respond. 

As his loving answers came, the emotional pain subsided. Tears of gratefulness streamed down my face. 

This psalm continues in verse 24 to express more of Christ’s tenderness. “For he has not despised or scorned the suffering of the afflicted one; he has not hidden his face from him but has listened to his cry for help.” 

In my self-centered maze of pain, it may have appeared that God was hidden from me. The reality is He wanted to speak. I needed to get quiet—able to listen. 

“Come. Face Me heart to Heart. You will be able to hand Me your bruised emotions when we are that much closer. Let Me take the broken pieces. Let Me hold you and transfuse new life and hope from my Heart to your heart. I came for this reason so long ago as I cried out in the pain of forsakenness. Only I know how to truly help you now. Receive my peace-filled Heart. “

Prayer

Lord, I hear your invitation to enter your heart and offer you my pain. Thank you for the agonies that you bore for me. As I let go of the burdens I carry, I receive your gifts of all I need. Amen. 

Palm Sunday, 2019 "Confined or Content?

As we enter Holy Week, 2019, our thoughts go to the realities leading up to the Cross and then Christ’s death and victorious Resurrection.

Yet first, He was content in the Godhead. In loving obedience to the Father, He chose to empty himself (Philippians 2:5-11) and enter the confines of an earthly body subject to all its needs and yet never giving in to the temptations we do. The devotional I am posting today speaks to how I wrestled with finding contentment in a body less-abled than it once had been. Perhaps you can relate for different reasons to how He helped me. 

A blessed Easter to all. xo Lynn

Confined or Content? 

I, the Lord, have called you in righteousness; I will take hold of your hand. I will keep you and will make you to be a covenant for the people and a light for the Gentiles, to open the eyes that are blind, to free captives from prison and to release from the dungeon those who sit in darkness. 

(Isaiah 42:6-7) 

Any challenges require adjustments. When vestibular dysfunction threw me into a constant state of dizziness and physical disorientation, it happened in one instant. I was blindsided, as if trapped in a dungeon. 

What had happened? Why? 

Some suggested my faith was lacking or I would have been healed by praying—or by others praying for me. I wondered if I was holding myself captive. I became exhausted believing I had to come to some definitive answers.

When all my efforts seemed a failure, I discovered a new level of dependence on the Lord. He patiently waited for me to understand that He was the only strength I had as I learned to live differently-abled. 

I questioned my God-given vocation to be of encouragement to others. Was it possible to proclaim freedom to others and be credible when I felt confined? 

Choose life, Lynn. I am asking you for deeper trust. Surrender. I define your life. Let me.

God helpd me take small steps. I experience him literally work through me in spite of how I feel. As I have died to my own endeavors, I somehow rise with him above my circumstances, despite no physical release from their impact. 

As confined as I have felt, He has remained the open door to meet all my needs. He has shown me the only captivity that ultimately matters is being held captive by his faithfulness. 

It is in his faithfulness, I know contentment. 

Are there times of struggle? Constantly. 

Do I choose to trust God and proclaim his freedom?

When hope rises to view in spite of my pain and his strength is manifested through my limitations, yes! 

Prayer

Lord, you gave your life for me. Help me continue to recognize the freedom I have in you. You set this prisoner free so I can stand content in you. Amen.

A Gift of Remembrance (Book Excerpt)

 A Gift of Remembrance 

See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands. 

(Isaiah 49:16a) 

Since I am engraved on the palms of Jesus’ hands, then everything, including his recorded days for me, must be there too. His wounded hands, healed, yet scarred, remind me of his sacrifice and death that enabled this engraving. 

My memories, thus engraved, are deeply embedded within me. I love the good memories. What takes courage is facing devastating memories head on. Yet God cannot impart his gift of healing until I acknowledge my need for it. 

Chronic illness entered my life when I was a mid-life adult. When I suffered intensive flare-ups of internal vertigo spinning, my mother was the person who would leave her home and come to help me. She would hold my head until the worst was over. Remembering her presence brings 

cherished memories. 

The memories needing healing were devastating images of her during her last days and moments. I held her head as she took her last breath and died. 

God’s healing gift came in personal ways. The journey was slow. He streamed an image of my mother—whole, healed, and with him. He did not let up until I could see this stronger image through the dimmer nightmarish veil of other ones. 

Her unexpected death left me weak. An opportunity to travel to England quickly surfaced. I questioned if I was strong enough to go. I felt the courage to attempt the trip when I remembered my mother’s caring hands that held my head steady. 

Far from home, the steps of healing continued. They were ones that only those who have grieved deeply understand. 

Walking a sunlit trail in Cambridge on my last day in England, I became aware of a flighty companion. A butterfly was keeping pace with me! My mother loved butterflies. This one was donned brightly in her favorite colors. Cautiously turning on my camera, I captured the priceless moment. 

God sent a butterfly. It was a gift of remembrance that my mother was but a breath away with him and, in many ways, still with me. 

Prayer:

Lord, some remembrances are difficult. Thank you for the scars you bore so I can turn to you in deep need and come away graciously renewed. Amen.