One of my devotionals was posted on the Rest Ministries’ website today and sent out via subscription. Most often when writing words of encouragement to others in a devotional, my intent is to focus on the message that God has helped me to discover as my challenges overwhelm me.
A reader, who deals with the same challenges, wrote to me after a devotional of mine posted some months ago. She was grateful to have found another who knows how she feels and what she experiences, as I had been a bit more specific about my chronic condition. She told me that she appreciated my bringing “vestibular dysfunction” to the awareness of readers. It had me rethinking my focus - not for every devotional - but to state with more vulnerability what it is that God has helped me deal with for decades.
Thus, the following devotional is for now, and for whoever may find a blessing in it, and perhaps a kindred soul on this life journey who understand because she/he is walking the same path.
To view the devotional as posted on the Rest Ministries’ website,
Trusting the Hands of the Potter to Transform His Clay
“But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands;
so the potter formed it into another pot,
shaping it as seemed best to him” (Jeremiah 18:4).
A friend told me years ago that she had never known anyone to be, so literally, on the Potter’s wheel as I am!
I have lived with vestibular dysfunction - constant dizziness, eruptions of internal spinning vertigo, related bouts with nausea and a striving to keep my balance - since March of 1983. The cause is unknown though doctors believe a virus hit my right inner ear as evidence of damage is there.
It hit in one instant, has refused to leave, and has defied all treatments.
In early March, 2013, a differing form of vertigo hit, blindsiding me with its vengeance.
Similar in debilitation, it has a differing trigger and was diagnosed as BPV ( benign positional vertigo).
In early March, 2013, a differing form of vertigo hit, blindsiding me with its vengeance.
Similar in debilitation, it has a differing trigger and was diagnosed as BPV ( benign positional vertigo).
There is a therapy that has been successful for others in correcting this. I sought its help, praying for relief. The process is a nightmare putting one into a vertigo state in hopes that small crystals, flaked off and lodged in a semi-circular canal of the labyrinth, where they do not belong, will return and stick in the part of the inner ear where they do.
As I write this devotional, early April, I have chosen to stop the treatments as there has been no signs of improvement, no guarantee that any will emerge. My therapist is in agreement as she has witnessed the agony I was enduring, unlike other patients of hers in the past. I am choosing to let the Potter work with me on his own.
In the context of this Jeremiah verse, the clay the potter was working with was flawed as Israel needed to repent of its ways and be reshaped
However, my vestibular system, though newly flawed, falls, more directly into the translation given in the New Century Version of this verse:
“He was using his hands to make a pot from clay,
but something went wrong with it.
So he used that clay to make another pot
the way he wanted it to be”( Jeremiah 18:4 NCV).
God’s care in transforming each of us is personally designed for the clay that is “us”. He alone can accomplish the transformation because He loves and knows his original design.
Prayer
Lord, I know I am safe in your caring hands although the transformation process is hard. Remaining still in spirit, if not body, I put my trust in You as You complete your work in me. Amen.
Jamie Zach is a talented potter who invited me
to come to his studio and take photos of him at work at his wheel.
Audrey Assad sings of the restlessness we each experience until we surrender to rest in the caring hands of the Lord. This is not easily done when we are being transformed on the Potter’s wheel but paradoxically, it is only in surrender that we can release the restlessness. May her song soothe you as you let its message come inward and settle you.
Click here to listen to the song.
I loved, loved, loved this. I too struggle somewhat with a little vertigo but I really struggle with kidney disease, sinus infections, allergies, asthma, depression/anxiety etc. I want to thank you for reminding me of God's love. I am now a follower. I would like to post this onto my blog if okay with you.
ReplyDeleteBeth
http://firsthalfday1.wordpress.com
Hi Beth - I am more than delighted to have you link up this posting on your blog. I just visited your site and left you a note!
DeleteBless you as you allow the Lord to work in your life and through your writing. He can get real creative in helping us know how to keep serving Him when some of our former ways are limited because of the challenges we face.
Do drop by any time!
Lynn
Oh, Lynn. Not exactly the physical healing I was praying/hoping for you. :-( But I know you trust the Potter and so I will trust Him for you as well. And will continue to pray for relief from this latest vertigo at least, if not from it all. I know one day you will be spin-free at last, but until then, I thank God for your resilience to keep surrendering to the Lord.
ReplyDeleteI was blessed to see/hear Audrey Assad in concert a few months back, and she was such a delight. She seemed totally effortless in her singing. Such a true gift. Going to listen now to the song you linked to.
Thank you for your continuing support and prayers, Lisa.
DeleteYes, I had high hopes going in to the therapy but, alas, I am counting on God to work in other ways to bring me through.
For sure, He is helping me to persevere!
Hi Lynn, I'm glad I found your site. I too suffer from vestibular dysfunction (a 28% "weakness" of the right ear to be exact). It has only been 6 months and so life changing, I can't imagine decades. The only way I have made it through is because of the Lord. He has certainly been my help, strength, peace, endurance, courage, encouragement, you name it! I have sought different forms of treatment through diet, supplements and the Dix Hallpike maneuver (the only you mentioned for BPV), but also to no avail. I have been in vestibular rehabilitation therapy since March and that has helped a lot, but I recently had my symptoms change out of no where with a bad bout of the spins and internal movement that seems to have knocked all my progress back to the start. :( I am thankful for what I CAN do and try to focus on the good, but as you know, it's hard. Anyway, I've longed to connect with a sister in Christ who understands (not that I would wish this on anyone), but I'm thankful to have found your site. I pray these days you are feeling much better, or even fully healed!
ReplyDeleteChristine - I am delighted you "found me" and I have been doing my best to hunt you down so we can connect further. I did find your blog. I will leave a note there which you will find as I am never sure if anyone who comments here returns and I do not have a means to know who is signed up or have their emails.
DeleteFor sure I am not glad to read that we share this same condition. Oh - how much I understand your utter frustration and going every route you can to get relief and/or healing.
Do know it IS possible to keep going with this - and then sit out the times when it flares up and most of all - no false guilt about not being able to "make God choose to heal" by going through all his promises. The greatest promise any of us have to hold onto is Him.
Heading over to your blog!
Love, Lynn
Hi Lynn! Thank you so much for your response and finding me on my blog! I will email you today so we can connect further. I had been praying to the Lord to bring a Christian woman into my life who can understand what I am going through and here you are. Praise God! I look forward to speaking further!!
DeleteAmen, Christine! I have thought of you so much since reading parts of your blog and understanding the turmoil you are experiencing. I am looking forward to sharing "more" and praising God, too, for this connection He has given to us - in Him - even though unfortunately because of what we have both been handed with the vestibular challenges.
DeleteLove, Lynn